Do you ever have those days where you go "What was I thinking?" I have been having them more and more. The other night I went to a fabulous cookie swap. A little side note...I have never been to one before; but am now a firm believer that everyone should go to one, and it does not have to be just at Christmas time. Now, back to the story. As I was talking to my friend, Michelle, complaining about everything the kids did wrong that day, it struck me. I pretty much had set them up for failure at the beginning of the day!
That morning, I rushed them out the door and took them to an extremely crowded post office. I expected them to stand in line still and quiet the whole time we were there, which did not happen. Then I took them to the grocery store, but I did not get the normal size cart. I thought I would be a "cool" mom and let them each have their own kid cart to push around and I would put the groceries in there. Now, they had to know they had to stay right with me, and could not put anything in their basket without me telling it was okay. Well, that did not happen either. Leaving the grocery store I was already pretty frazzled and ready to just get home.
After arriving home I realized that I had forgotten some major key ingredients to the candy I was making for the cookie swap, so we went to another grocery store. I was smarter this time and put them in the cart that has the car in front. As my kids were hanging outside the "car" windows upside down (for the fortieth time) and dragging their arms to where things were now flying off the shelf "public" mommy went away. You know what I am talking about. When you are in public and have other people's eyes on you looking to see how you will handle each situation with your kids you act like you have it all together and would never yell at your kids. Now, "public" mommy had been talking with the kids the whole trip, but "home" mommy resurfaced and yelled STOP IT! As a lady rounded the aisle staring at me I put the kids in the cart the right way and told them that if they moved a muscle we were going to the car for a minute. If you know what I mean.
After we checked out and got buckled in, I started yelling at them about disobeying me. Once I realized I was YELLING I put the voice back in and told them why I tell them to do things and why it is important for them to obey me. I got the "right" answer from them as the two voices said yes mam and sorry mommy, but I was steaming! I put them straight in their beds for a nap and talked to each one about having a disobedient heart.
As I reflect on the whole day I realize that out of the hour we were at EACH place they were perfect angels 45 minutes out of 60. It seems that when we go to public places I forget that they are 4 and 2 and expect them to be good little children robots. Why do I care about what others think about me and children, especially strangers? It seems as though we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to make it look like we have it all together, and not just around strangers but our friends too.
Let's be real people. The majority of days I don't put make up on and when I do it is usually in the parking lot of wherever I am going to. I hate to fold and put away laundry, so my upstairs is drowning in clean clothes. My kids are good, but not perfect. Jake has definitely hit the two's and is testing his boundaries on everything. He is also asserting his independence as well, although most of the things he wants to do he can't do right now and then he gets frustrated and throws HUGE fits! Baylie thinks that she is as old as I am, and we are on the same level of authority in the house. I am constantly reminding her that God made me the mommy. I am always late. I don't know why that is I really try to be early, but I am always late. That is something that I have to work on in the New Year since Baylie will be in kindergarten. Nathan and I have a wonderful marriage, but it is a marriage. All marriages need work and you have your disagreements, okay, arguments. There are many more confessions I can make to you today, but I won't bombard you with all my flaws at once.
All this pressure to be these perfect Susie Homemakers with the perfect family, I think, is mostly caused by ourselves. I think others would like to see the struggles I have day to day, not to say there aren't great days. I know it is a comfort to me when I see other women going through the same thing I am going through or have gone through. It is nice to know that we aren't alone.
I believe that the ideal woman Solomon spoke about in Proverbs had her crazy days too, where the kids were a mess, her husband came home later then expected, the dinner burned, etc. She might have even yelled a time or two. But she still strived to serve God and her family with a joyful heart. That is what I want to do. The days where things are not going as hoped, I will be honest, but I will still be joyful in the family that God has blessed me with, and I will love and serve Him through it all. Maybe my bulb is getting a little brighter! :)
That morning, I rushed them out the door and took them to an extremely crowded post office. I expected them to stand in line still and quiet the whole time we were there, which did not happen. Then I took them to the grocery store, but I did not get the normal size cart. I thought I would be a "cool" mom and let them each have their own kid cart to push around and I would put the groceries in there. Now, they had to know they had to stay right with me, and could not put anything in their basket without me telling it was okay. Well, that did not happen either. Leaving the grocery store I was already pretty frazzled and ready to just get home.
After arriving home I realized that I had forgotten some major key ingredients to the candy I was making for the cookie swap, so we went to another grocery store. I was smarter this time and put them in the cart that has the car in front. As my kids were hanging outside the "car" windows upside down (for the fortieth time) and dragging their arms to where things were now flying off the shelf "public" mommy went away. You know what I am talking about. When you are in public and have other people's eyes on you looking to see how you will handle each situation with your kids you act like you have it all together and would never yell at your kids. Now, "public" mommy had been talking with the kids the whole trip, but "home" mommy resurfaced and yelled STOP IT! As a lady rounded the aisle staring at me I put the kids in the cart the right way and told them that if they moved a muscle we were going to the car for a minute. If you know what I mean.
After we checked out and got buckled in, I started yelling at them about disobeying me. Once I realized I was YELLING I put the voice back in and told them why I tell them to do things and why it is important for them to obey me. I got the "right" answer from them as the two voices said yes mam and sorry mommy, but I was steaming! I put them straight in their beds for a nap and talked to each one about having a disobedient heart.
As I reflect on the whole day I realize that out of the hour we were at EACH place they were perfect angels 45 minutes out of 60. It seems that when we go to public places I forget that they are 4 and 2 and expect them to be good little children robots. Why do I care about what others think about me and children, especially strangers? It seems as though we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to make it look like we have it all together, and not just around strangers but our friends too.
Let's be real people. The majority of days I don't put make up on and when I do it is usually in the parking lot of wherever I am going to. I hate to fold and put away laundry, so my upstairs is drowning in clean clothes. My kids are good, but not perfect. Jake has definitely hit the two's and is testing his boundaries on everything. He is also asserting his independence as well, although most of the things he wants to do he can't do right now and then he gets frustrated and throws HUGE fits! Baylie thinks that she is as old as I am, and we are on the same level of authority in the house. I am constantly reminding her that God made me the mommy. I am always late. I don't know why that is I really try to be early, but I am always late. That is something that I have to work on in the New Year since Baylie will be in kindergarten. Nathan and I have a wonderful marriage, but it is a marriage. All marriages need work and you have your disagreements, okay, arguments. There are many more confessions I can make to you today, but I won't bombard you with all my flaws at once.
All this pressure to be these perfect Susie Homemakers with the perfect family, I think, is mostly caused by ourselves. I think others would like to see the struggles I have day to day, not to say there aren't great days. I know it is a comfort to me when I see other women going through the same thing I am going through or have gone through. It is nice to know that we aren't alone.
I believe that the ideal woman Solomon spoke about in Proverbs had her crazy days too, where the kids were a mess, her husband came home later then expected, the dinner burned, etc. She might have even yelled a time or two. But she still strived to serve God and her family with a joyful heart. That is what I want to do. The days where things are not going as hoped, I will be honest, but I will still be joyful in the family that God has blessed me with, and I will love and serve Him through it all. Maybe my bulb is getting a little brighter! :)
3 comments:
Preach it sister... oh wait were baptist.. Testify it sister!!!
thanks for that post. I am right there with you. I needed to hear that today. I just can't get caught up with life right now and my temper....oh, it's way too short. I need to step back and chill out! :)
Well said - it's nice to hear I'm not alone in the craziness of motherhood. -Monica
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